Sunday, April 29, 2012

Wings, Fangs, and Flight, Part 5

We just finished discussing my DREAM TEAM, but you might be wondering what else has been

Why is Tiger no longer in posts? What was the surgery all about?

After having no place to call my own, truly my own, for over ten years, God had provided me an apartment.
He had been – and still is and forever will be – faithful, though. Not one night have I ever been out in the cold
even though I did spend two months in shelters while I was taking classes at New Horizons and waiting for the
finalization of my divorce. And I was working through Beth Moore’s Believing God with my ministry ladies as
things began to get tough. That apartment was where I was living as I got much closer to God, got the relieving
news I was cancer-free, got to know the people in my GROWTH GROUP and DREAM TEAM, and was
able to get to know some of my closest friends a lot better. It was where I was able to bless and be a blessing
to others more than I’d been able to as a traveling person… technically in a HOME at last that I knew was
mine to call HOME.


God was so good to me. Miracles occurred many times while I was staying in that little studio apartment,
and I called it the apartment of HOPE because in all honesty, I DID gain more hope living there than in the
years I went between couches and rooms in other people’s places, went to school, and earned the first of my
two degrees and got signed up for my graduate degree. At that point, I moved into the little room in the
basement of the daughter of my Kindergarten Sunday School teachers, whom I didn’t even know was her
until I interviewed with her and saw their photos on her door. That was a miracle in itself, as was getting into
graduate school. Not because of grades – my GPA was very high – but due to finances. This was mentioned
in a previous part of the testimony.

I believe, though, going back to the apartment of HOPE, that the turning points were lined up in a row…
meeting my DREAM TEAM and GROWTH GROUPS, the public dissolution of an engagement to
someone whose family was in the spotlight, turning what I learned about business and ministry researching
what he and I could do into something to utilize with my ministry ladies here in Oregon, and taking part in

While there, I wasn’t an angel though I’ve been blessed to see and meet some, and I wasn’t overwhelmingly
evil, either. I made my mistakes and learned from them as quickly as I was able to assimilate and resolve the
revelations I was gaining. My own guardian angel, Caleb (I only know from much prayer and was thankful
for an answer), certainly did his job as God’s watchman over me and always really has… God has been so
good, as I said. And it helps to recall the Holy Spirit’s presence within me and speaking to me in many
different ways, showing and telling me what I need to see and hear… but the feathers of PROTECTION
come from being sealed with the Holy Spirit and knowing the angels are round about. Caleb, in particular,
though others have shown themselves to me at times. Mostly, I never got names… they were standing behind
or next to people who were doing public speaking or in the sky, for instance.

Anyhow, we are not to worship any but God, and His angels are there to worship Him as well. They, like
us, are His servants, but we are His children if we have Jesus the Messiah in our hearts and have accepted
what He did on the cross at Calvary on our behalves. Nobody can accept Him or His gift of eternal life with
the Father for anyone else…. The angels, the Word of God tells us, marvel at God and are in awe of His
having made man in His image, doing all for us that He has. Caleb and other angels have a purpose in my life,
just as they have one in yours.

To get back to what I was saying, though, I wasn’t an angel. I made my mistakes. God, however,
was and continues to be so FAITHFUL (which is what Caleb means). His LOVE has no bounds,
 as His sacrifice has shown.

Someone I had gotten to know a few years prior came back into my life not too long before I ended up
needing to move from my apartment, and we decided to have a go at a relationship. That, if you are only
joining the readings recently, was Tiger. And though it was far from my first choice, his apartment was
the only place available for me to move other than a shelter, so I took it. There was an extra room, and
so I accepted the invitation to stay as I looked for work (which was a continued theme for quite a while),
doing the cleaning, décor, and a lot of the cooking, continuing my ministry and yes… that’s where I was
when God brought about the opportunity for a much-needed surgery. Only HE knew how much I needed it.

On December 7, 2011, I went in for surgery to remove what was thought to be one golf-ball sized cyst. It
turns out there were two – the other being the size of a tennis ball – and that the second was somehow
missed on the ultrasound that was done a couple of weeks prior. Not only that, but there were a couple
of other issues going on that were taken care of. The thing is, had my doctor waited even another couple
weeks for surgery, the outcome would have been vastly different. The cysts were strangling and tangled
up with normal body parts and had they gotten any bigger they might have created a lot of permanent
damage. Thank God for doctors who utilize their intuition and the Holy Spirit, because everything went
smoothly and was taken care of at once. Rather than removing the cysts, WINDOWS were cut into
them to kill them off so that I wouldn’t need any body parts removed. The other problem was taken
care of, as well, for which I was and continue to be thankful.

Not long after surgery a few things happened that made me very aware it was time to move again. Things
 with Tiger took a turn, and not for the better. I was praying for him more than everyone else on my prayer
 list (HIT LIST) combined on some days, things got so stressful. We decided to part ways, and as hard
as it was, it was really a blessing in disguise. Though he made some decisions I didn’t agree with, I
certainly wish him well and pray the very best for him… that his life turns around toward God
again after all he has been through in life (another tale altogether, and not one for me to tell).

Since then, things have been interesting. Very much so. God has given me instructions I never thought
 I’d hear from Him, and shown me some pretty AMAZING things… more than ever before.

They say that it is in our times of deepest pain and struggle we come to know God more and more.
 I can attest to that. Having asked Him for faith like Abraham, Moses, Joseph, Jochebed, Hannah,
Mary, and Paul, I guess that is part of what happens. LOL But I don’t regret the prayers; the
pleadings for a deeper relationship with my Savior and a strengthening of the gifts of the Holy Spirit
within me, as well as the fruit of the Spirit. Those are the best things to be asking Him for, above
THINGS of the material world, though He knows we need what we need. He knows the true
desires of each heart, the sincerity and intents and authenticity, the faith content. Knows our
DESTINIES, our FUTURE, and wants us to grasp it and walk INTO it.

As Kim Clement sometimes says, “I want to go to the future, and bring it back.” This sums up
much of my life in a single sentence. It sums up much of the goal-setting and dreaming, the visions,
the attacks of the enemy and the protection of the Lord. It sums up the ins and outs of relationships
because God wants people who are faithful to what He shows and tells them… running away from
DESTINY isn’t helpful and it doesn’t work. As a child, I tried. As a teen, I began to understand this.
 As an adult, I try to live by this… WALK INTO YOUR DESTINY… go into the future so you can
 come back to the present so you can go to the future GOD SHOWED YOU… it takes prayer,
 fasting, obedience, faith… and it is a journey. It is a process of learning to FLY!

                                         R. Kelly-  I Believe I Can Fly

UPDATE 7/16/13-- COME OVER and check out my FUNDRAISER! Journey to a Thousand Voices...